venta: (Default)
[personal profile] venta
While passing briefly through Hounslow station last week I encountered some poorly-rendered but delightfully weird graffiti.



Ballpoint pen graffiti on railway map
More ballpoint pen graffiti on railway map

For those of you without the patience/imagination/eyesight to puzzle over them, the first one reads "HOW MANY NON DESCRIPTS IN YOUR HELL?"

The next reads "HOW CAN THE POPE DO ANYTHING HE HASN'T GOT A ROD CALLED ARTEMIS?"

I find that a little disappointing. The question about non-descripts in Hell seemed strangely arresting, and now we've clearly veered off into faintly deranged territory.

Sadly, the third photo is even less legible, and I couldn't fit the whole of the sentence into one picture. My phone has old-fashioned zoom, ie one has to walk backwards. I was mildly perturbed that I was about to go backwards off the edge of the platform.

However, from Kew Bridge to well past Waterloo it read "SORCERY CAN'T EXIST ACCORDING TO THE LYING PAEDOPHILE CALLED PRINCE PHILLIP WHY THEN DID HE MARRY THE WITCH CALLED FIGURATIVELY ARTEMIS?"

Why indeed.

Date: 2013-05-07 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] huskyteer.livejournal.com
...bit scared actually.

Date: 2013-05-08 09:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venta.livejournal.com
Yes, not sure I want to sit next to this person on the train!

Date: 2013-05-08 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sammason.livejournal.com
Wow, brainy graffiti! But deranged.

Date: 2013-05-08 08:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phlebas.livejournal.com
Ah. So the Pope has no power because Brenda's Anglican?

Date: 2013-05-08 09:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venta.livejournal.com
OK, even after thorough consideration you've properly lost me :)

Date: 2013-05-08 09:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phlebas.livejournal.com
Well, if Prince Philip is married to Artemis, Artemis must be Her Majesty. Who is the head of the Anglican church and thus not subject to the Pope, so he cannot exercise control through her (use her as 'a rod').
I'm not certain how that ties in with the nondescripts or the sorcery, though.

Date: 2013-05-08 09:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venta.livejournal.com
Err, ok. I'm not used to people addressing HM as "Brenda". Maybe you hang out in more elevated social circles than I do :)

Date: 2013-05-08 09:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phlebas.livejournal.com
Oh, sorry. I'm not sure about social circles - it's a Private Eye-ism.

Date: 2013-05-08 09:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venta.livejournal.com
Probably more of an intellectual circle, then :) I've never been a Private Eye reader. Historically I wasn't politically-informed enough to get the jokes - I might be these days, but just never see it.

Your theory is clearly in its early stages (missing the sorcery, paedophilia and hell), but it seems to be shaping up nicely. I'll probably next be in Hounslow in a week or two, I'll see if we've been updated with any further detail!

Date: 2013-05-17 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venta.livejournal.com
Report from Hounslow station last night: the map has been replaced with a shiny, clean one which expresses no weird opinions.

Date: 2013-05-10 08:10 pm (UTC)
killalla: (Killalla)
From: [personal profile] killalla
Don't know if this makes things better or worse, but the Artemis Rod is a weapon used by Yuki Cross in the manga and anime Vampire Knight. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Vampire_Knight_characters#Yuki_Cross So maybe your deranged graffiti artist is an anime fan?

Date: 2013-05-13 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venta.livejournal.com
She was a deranged, anime-loving graffiti artist - he was a passenger on the 18:27 from Hounslow - together, they, er, wreck overground railway maps :)

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