venta

Do you live in Oxford? Do you have a passing familiarity with city centre pubs? Are you free on March 5th? Would you like to give up your entire Saturday for no money?

Some of you may already know this: my sword-dancing team is organising the national, annual rapper competition this year. In Oxford.

Details here.

Extensive experimentation in previous years' competitions has shown that the only way to get a gaggle of sword-dancers from one pub to the next is to put them in the care of a reasonably responsible, reasonably sober human. Said human will then shepherd them lovingly from one pub to the next, making sure everyone gets to the correct place at the correct time.

In fact, it's best to have two of these humans. (You know, one to stay with the body and one to go for help).

My team is quite small, and various of us are doing other things - organising judges, calculating scores, clearing up after breakfast, extracting badgers from dishwashers (don't ask). Accordingly, we find ourselves a little short of humans.

To be a suitable human, you must be:

• able to pass as human


• willing to make a firm commitment to show up in the city centre on March 5th at 10:30 for a briefing, and stick with your gaggle of sword-dancers until about 4ish


• willing to sit through a certain amount of sword-dancing, some of which might be bad


• reasonably responsible


• reasonably sober (even after a day spent in pubs)


• in possession of own sense of direction, and familiar with Oxford


• have own teeth


• lots of teeth

If that sounds unappealing, it is of course possible just to show up in one of the pubs for half an hour and watch the dancing, whilst being as drunken and irresponsible as you please. You're actively encouraged to do that, in fact.

If it does sound appealing to anyone, let me know. There is no remuneration available. There may be the prospect of a hot evening meal and free entrance to the evening showcase performance, I'm not 100% sure on the details as yet. The showcase does, of course, contain more sword dancing so you might be totally sick of the stuff by then anyway.